In my first year living in Gouda, I cleared out a lot of stuff from my Amsterdam home. It was very confronting to clear out everything from my life with Han, and I also felt like I was saying goodbye to the Netherlands and Dutch traditions.
So much had changed in the Netherlands as a result of the Covid period. The Netherlands was no longer the Netherland, as I knew it.. It was cold, both in terms of climate and the mentality of the people. Everyone was stressed for survival and focused on their own lives. There was no connection or connection with each other anymore.
Moreover, it became increasingly clear to me that I'm no longer Dutch. I can't conform to the limited mindset that prevails in the Netherlands. I can no longer tolerate the judgments and condemnations of others. I want to live in freedom and for everyone to be treated with respect, regardless of age, physical condition, skin color or sexuality. I miss the warmth of Mexico, the loyalty, and the sense of connection.
At the beginning of my second year in the Netherlands, I decided to return to Mexico permanently. I don't know how, but I do know I will. Here in the Netherlands, I'll never have the opportunity to live closer to my daughter and granddaughters. Housing in decent neighborhoods and of good quality is almost impossible to find. Moreover, my health problems are limiting the life I want to lead.
I'm slowly starting to transform. I'm actively making music and writing songs again. I'm also starting to sort through my old clothes and buy new ones suitable for warm climates. I'm transforming myself into a woman who is elegant and modest, yet with a free, bohemian style. This is reflected in the hats and jewelry I wear, paired with blouses and dresses in natural tones.
Another question is how I'm going to earn my living in Mexico. I have several ideas, but I don't know yet where it will go. I'll definitely choose to perform as a singer-songwriter. I also want to further develop my blog, La Gran Dama, as a digital content creator.
Finally, after a lovely weekend with my daughter and granddaughters, I'm saying goodbye to the Netherlands. On September 14th, I'm leaving for Cancun, with the possibility of returning to the Netherlands on November 11th. But that won't happen. On Sunday, September 14, 2025, I'll finally say goodbye to the Netherlands. The land of cold, rules, and fear. on to a land of new adventures, freedom, and health!
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